In CARAFE, I believe the key words and phrases in the context of Commandment One are: glass, spectacle, system of pointing, not ordinary, not unordered, not resembling, difference is spreading.
CARAFE is about beginning. I believe the unstated word Stein is going for is 'womb.' The Commandments begin the declaration that the followerer must have no other god. Noticeably CARAFE starts with the article 'a,' which denotes a single but unspecified person or thing. In Jewish scripture, one does not directly name God, one might say G-d or some other stand in.
CARAFE is about vessels--carafe and glass both hold liquids--God is the container of religious faith.
CARAFE offers ways of seeing and not seeing. There is the spectacle possibly referring to a monocle or glasses worn on the human face to improve vision. There is the blind glass, which one cannot see through. Having one god is a way of seeing, a form of belief. One cannot see through G-d as in know what he knows but one can see with G-d's help.
CARAFE has the big term a system to pointing which could very well be the way Torah is read with the finger pointing implement called a yad.
I believe Stein is setting forth a holy text of matrimony with Tender Buttons. She and Alice are uniting around one holy spirit of union. This union is not ordinary, not unordered though it does not resemble other marriages, those of man and woman. Nonetheless what they are doing in this difference, their difference is taking dominion and that sovereignty (control), that territory, that self-governance is increasing (spreading) their joy.